nakedpeople:

iianishollywood:

This was super cute and a great look in on a couple working out the level of kink in their relationship.

augh jesus christ, this freaked me out 

it’s weird to me that they’re casting him as a big scandinavian feminist who doesn’t want to humiliate his girlfriend even for pretend, and they’re not showing him having a hard time with that verbal humiliation, which was really hard for me to listen to!  i was expecting to enjoy this because pee is a fantasy of mine - but when she says “stop, andrew!” and asks him to stop being so mean - it occurs to me that i’ve never used my partner’s real name (rather than an honorific) while subbing, and that seems soooo intense.  jesus.

i guess this makes me realize that all the kinky sex i’ve had has been all about me being well-behaved and well cared for.  comparatively quite cuddly!

eta: i hadn’t finished it when i watched the above - they should really get a safeword!  also, he’s pretty awful in bed!  also, why are they peeing on each other in the bed where they’re about to sleep?  won’t that get messy?  why doesn’t he just say “hell yeah, show me your piss, slut” when she’s embarrassed because he wants her to pee on him?  and why is this in a gay and lesbian film festival?  i don’t see any gay people!

Haha!

Actually, I thought this was pretty cute.

Yeah, they need a safe word. Sometimes saying ‘no’ or ‘stop’ is appealing to people, so I wouldn’t want there to be any confusion AT ALL. That’s what makes me feel okay with verbal humiliation, peeing, flogging, and all the varying forms of BDSM. I know that if what I do is not good for the other person (or what they do is not good for me), they have a very specific word that they can use to tell me so. Then we can stop and figure out what’s up.

Flaws in this short film aside, I do think that this is a side of BDSM that people need to see more of. The emphasis in mainstream representations of BDSM is “OMG CRAZY SCARY WEIRD SEX” and it rarely delves into the negotiations and trust that should be a part of a good BDSM relationship.

And I thought it was good to see a female character that was into a submissive role in BDSM and wasn’t portrayed as having a psychological disorder or just being a huge emotional mess. Also, that he was reluctant to do it, instead of the guy just being like “Hell, yeah! I’m totally cool with saying ‘degrading’ things to you!”