and now, some brief reviews of movies that I have seen over the break. Warning for spoilers.

1. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Go for the RDJ in drag, stay for the naked Stephen Fry, ignore the historical inaccuracies. It’s a fun movie, not much substance though. I’m always fascinated by the different ways that people portray Sherlock Holmes. RDJ’s Holmes comes across as a bipolar narcissist, bursting with energy and incapable of seeing beyond his own interests, while Cumberbatch’s Holmes seems to be in the autism spectrum, constantly analyzing and has difficulties forming emotional attachments, not because of self-absorption but because a complete emotional disconnect.

RDJ, shirtless, with smeared make up and smoking a cigar is quite a picture.

2. War Horse

Totally empty sappy tripe. A bad romance movie, but replace the female lead with a horse. The scenes in the trenches of WWI were the only parts with any emotional depth. Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston in WWI era military uniforms were things of beauty.

3. The Artist

A wonderful, modern, black and white silent film. A silent film star struggles with the onset of sound in movies. Truly funny and sweet.

4. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

FINALLY! I may be biased in how much I enjoyed this film because it has so many actors that I adore (Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hardy) and I find the entire story fascinating. Based on the true story of the “Cambridge Five” and the biggest information leak in Cold War history. Convoluted, subtle, with moments of real shock — it’s like an Ingmar Bergman film, everything is about the actors faces’ and the emotions conveyed by the tiniest expressions.

Gary Oldman gives a wonderful performance in the simplest way. His isn’t a role that demands giant emotional fluctuations, everything is in the details, the loneliness and tiredness. Hardy and Cumberbatch’s characters broke my heart. The scene with Cumberbatch addressed the issue of how homosexuals in the government were treated in a very swift, subtle way that still packed an emotional punch.

5. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

I’ve seen the Swedish version and I actually preferred this one — it’s much more slick. The opening credits were badass, like, 007 opening credits level of badass. Rapace and Craig are so boner-worthy.

THAT SAID

I have issues with this movie that I have previously expressed, loudly, while drunk.

First off — every villain in the movie has to be TOTALLY EVIL. Asshole legal guardian? Nope, he’s a sadistic rapist asshole! Serial killer? Nope, he’s a super rich incestuous rapist nazi serial killer! Unscrupulous businessman? Nope, he’s a super corrupt businessman that launders money for drug cartels and the mafia! There’s no gray area.

Then there’s the rape scene and the revenge scene… the rape scene is so emotionally intense that I wish the scenes of consensual sex were just as emotionally intense in order to provide a positive balance.

The biggest problem that I have is that the rape scene shows you Lisbeth being violently raped and degraded. And you see the rapist enjoying it. You hate him. You hate him so much that when Lisbeth takes her revenge and you watch her brutally assault him, you enjoy it. You are enjoying someone’s pain and degradation. Just like the rapist did. But you’re given permission to enjoy it because he was an evil evil bad man, right? Right?!

The whole thing is so sadistic and voyeuristic, it makes me very uncomfortable. Just as I did not enjoy seeing Lisbeth get raped, I did not enjoy seeing her violent revenge either.

6. Warrior

Plot is predictable. Cinematography and music is crap. Hardy, Edgerton and Nolte give amazing performances. You may think that Hardy’s fighting style in Warrior would be the same as it is in Bronson — it’s just as different as the characters of Tommy Conlon and Charlie Bronson are. Bronson fights like it’s theater, he showboats and enjoys every second of attention; Conlon fights like a pitbull, years of rage directed into every blow on a single target. It’s really fucking amazing and scary and I was real turned on.