catruistic:

sexgenderbody:

inherhipstheresrevolutions:

dailymurf:

jadelyn:

maevele:

rainstormostars:

awesomefuckyeahmotherfucker:

qwopette:

Okay so I found a porn blog ran by a woman claiming to be a feminist submissive. You are submitting to a man, having him call you a slut, slap you, tie you up, and possibly tell him that you are nothing compared to him. 

Yet….

You get mad at slut shaming, women being demeaned, and you think that all women should always be equalto men.

Well, here’s what I don’t get;

You don’t like women to be called sluts, but it’s okay if your partner calls you a slut? And you think you’retruly equal to him in the moment where he slaps your face and calls you a whore and makes you beg?

ALRIGHTY THEN.

Women will try to play both sides like that. That’s not really all that surprising. They wan’t their fuckin’ cake and to eat it too without being called out about it.

They’ll say “sex is different”, or “it’s ok as long as it’s with my partner”, because that’s the easy and lame way to sneak out of the real argument, which is that they wanna feel respected only when they want to, and they want to be demeaned only when they want to, and when those two conflict, they scream bloody murder.

Can’t tell if sarcasm or just plain stupid…

WOW. Let me try and break this down for these two, because I really feel like someone needs to address this shit.

I personally don’t have a fetish for things like this, so I may get some things wrong while expaining, but it just feels wrong to me to let this get any farther.

If she has stated she is submissive, then I’m going to assume that she in part of the BDSM community.  Here’s the thing, often in the BDSM community, the submissives are the people who “obey”, and often have someone to yell at/hit them.  That is their fetish.  However, in NO WAY does it mean they would acccept someone, who is not their partner, coming up to them, slapping them, or calling them a slut. 

That is NOT okay.  The partner she is with understands her, limits, understands what she wants, and knows how far he is allowed to go.  To both of them, this is not real life, this is ROLEPLAY.  You know… Fantasy?  Not real?  As in, has no connection to real life?

Trying to say that she’s hypocritical because she does that in her sex life, but is angry at slut shamers and sexists is like trying to say because in my dreams I see a penis, I can’t be a lesbian.  Or, even more misogynistic, it’s like saying because I like to use dildos, that I must like penis, and thus can not be a lesbian.  The point is:  you are missing a very fundamental part of this argument.

If a BDSM submissive has a rape fantasy, that doesn’t mean she wants to be raped.  In BDSM, it’s all about being SAFE.  Obviously, this women feels safe being called slut by this partner.  And the partner  has NO conviction behind their thoughts or actions.  He does NOT think she’s a slut, and he doesn’t hit her “Because she’s a slut”, but because that’s what she wants him (in that roleplay, in that instance) to do.

Here’s where these two really piss me off.  The difference between a dominant in BDSM and a sexist asshole in real life is that the sexist asshole is doing it because he deep down, or even near the surface, believes she IS A slut, and she DOES deserve to be hit, because she’s a woman and they’re below men.  That is what they ACTUALLY THINK.  Meanwhile her partner is playing a character who thinks that, and respects her enough to stop when she needs him to.

The people who don’t respect women are the ones complaining about this imaginary double standard.

Why is it okay for her to accept her partner calling her a slut and slapping her face, and not okay for YOU to call her a slut, to call other women a slut, or slap their faces?

Because, darling, her partner respects her.  You, on the other hand, two OPs, you don’t respect women.  You don’t take time to think about how different the BDSM culture is ccompared to real life.  You don’t think about fetishes.  You don’t think about why you think it’s okay to slut shame and demean women.  You just wanted to slut shame a woman who thinks all men should respect women, but has a fetish for a fantasy roleplay where her partner (who respects her), treats her as a submissive. 

You didn’t want to destroy an injustice, you wanted to insult, shame, and guilt a woman just to feel superior.

Someone, please, add to this.  Say something scathing, I’m so angry at the OPs I don’t even know how to be rude anymore.

Here is the commentary I would have liked to have written if I were more coherent.

Some people (*cough*OPs*cough*) apparently have never heard of the word “context”.

[Mild TMI warning for my family members who read this blog, I’m gonna vaguely mention kinky stuff here, don’t read if you don’t want to know, I am not responsible if you read and feel like you can’t look me in the eye later on, okay?]

My partner calling me something filthy in the bedroom because it gets us off?  Not even remotely the same thing as some asshole on the street calling me something filthy in order to intimidate, silence, or shame me.  Because CONTEXT.  

What two or more consenting adults - note, CONSENTING being the key word here - do together for happy tingly fun times has NO FUCKING BEARING on who they are and what they do in other contexts.  Hell, not even within the scene with people who aren’t your partner/haven’t negotiated anything - I once spoke (briefly) with some ass on collarme who, after a couple of idle messages discussing our various preferences, started calling me the aforementioned filthy things without asking if it was okay or setting up any kind of context for it.  I called him on it and asked him why he’d done that, he said, basically, “because I’m into that and so are you”, I replied “yes but just because we’re into some of the same things doesn’t mean you can just start doing them to me without my consent,” and blocked him.  CONTEXT FUCKING MATTERS, people.  In the context of a loving relationship, where I feel safe and valued even as he’s doing things to me that, from an outside perspective, do not look like loving, valuing acts in the slightest, I can enjoy things that from anyone else would earn a swift kick in the delicate bits.  BECAUSE CONTEXT.

Anyway, this - They’ll say “sex is different”, or “it’s ok as long as it’s with my partner”, because that’s the easy and lame way to sneak out of the real argument, which is that they wanna feel respected only when they want to, and they want to be demeaned only when they want to, and when those two conflict, they scream bloody murder. - is such laughable bullshit it’s like you’ve never even heard of logic.  Yes, I do want to be respected in most contexts (hey look there’s that word again!), and yes I also do want to be demeaned in certain contexts, and that’s fucking okay, because women are people and people are allowed to have boundaries and those boundaries are allowed to be different for different people at different times in different situations.  There’s nothing logically inconsistent about wanting different treatment from different people at different times.  Do you let a coworker talk shit at you the same way you let family members or close friends talk shit at you?  Why not?  That’s so inconsistent, you just want to be respected only when you want to and you want to be (playfully) disrespected only when you want to, what the fuck is wrong with you, don’t you see how inconsistent you’re being?

Yeah, that’s what you sound like to us.  q.q harder, kitten.  Now go away, learn to logic, study the concept of “context”, and grow the fuck up.

So first I read this post and cringed and my blood boiled at how apparently consenting to BDSM is “feminists having their cake and eating it” (well hot daaaamn if I want to explore my sexuality in the ways I desire! That’s just a step too far!) but then by the time i’d read the commentary my faith was restored in humanity.

Has nobody heard of feminism and people not into feminism reclaiming words that have been used against them to empower themselves? Hm? To use those words or have them used knowing they can’t hurt you in that context? Ugh. And is submission in BDSM an inherently unequal way of being? No. No it’s not.

TMI below for people who know me and don’t wanna see things about my sex life and TW for choking

Also, submission in BDSM isn’t just about sex and getting off, it can be used for people to overcome traumas and establish a really trusting bond between two (or more) partners. Seeing people choked/having anything tightened round their necks used to induce panic attacks in me that lasted hours, and my gf was there to help me through the process of getting through that period of my life. Eventually I wanted to try out the choking kink not because I thought it’d get me off, but because it was about pushing my boundaries with someone I knew I could rely on and someone who rarely failed to let me down when I needed emotional support. It was about overcoming that fear and trigger with someone who was safe. The kink of choking became something that emotionally and mentally engaged me and if i’m not mentally stimulated by someone, I can’t be with them and I certainly can’t have sex with them. The fact I can engage in that kink says so much about my own strength after mental health issues and about the strength in my relationship, and has nothing to do with double standards or “having my cake and eating it” which is such a fucking ridiculous thing to say about people’s sexualities. Which is why sort of why this quote:

To both of them, this is not real life, this is ROLEPLAY.  You know… Fantasy?  Not real?  As in, has no connection to real life?

is something I disagree with. Submission isn’t just roleplay or fantasy. It’s a real life way of being and exploring for many people. Some people are naturally submissive in all areas of their relationships and that’s okay, it doesn’t have to be called a fantasy in order for it to be accepted. I don’t like the “well it’s just pretend, so it’s okay!” mentality when people try to defend BDSM. It’s real and it’s raw and that’s why it’s safe.

^^^^ Everything my kinky-ass galfrannn said.

Oh noez, de poor widdle menz bwainz and all dere hurt fee-fees. Soooooooooooo unfair dat de wimminz want to be hoomanz too.

ALL OF THE REPLIES ARE SO GOOD. Also (additional info for the ignorant OPs), although the submissive appears to be surrendering all power, actually the submissive is usually *secretly* in control, seeing as everything revolves around their boundaries.

I’m also annoyed by the heterosexism from the OPs. Why is this automatically about submitting to a man? I’m turned on by submitting to a woman as much as I am by submitting to a man, and I’m also turned on by dominating a man as much as I am by dominating a woman! As long as my partner respects me. And, well, I never have sex with someone who doesn’t.

OP is an ass-hat incapable of differentiating personal and public life

the commentary is magnificent

Source: qwopette

12 March 242 catruistic Permalink

Going vegan makes their boyfriends so strong that they physically injure the women during sex.

WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

GODDAMMIT PETA.

29 February 18 Permalink